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In Roman times murderers, rapists and robbers were crucified. The only man that ever hung on a cross blamelessly, was Jesus Christ. The two men that hung next to Him, hung there for a reason. Was it because they raped young girls, or murdered old people on a farm somewhere? We can just surmise about this. In those days the hurt families were allowed to stand at the foot of the cross of the convicted person, in order to see him die a horrible death, thereby getting their "revenge". But what happens to one of those convicted killers next to Jesus?
"And one of the malefactors which were hanged railed on him, saying, If thou be Christ, save thyself and us. But the other answering rebuked him, saying, Dost not thou fear God, seeing thou art in the same condemnation? And we indeed justly; for we receive the due reward of our deeds: but this man hath done nothing amiss. And he said unto Jesus, Lord, remember me when thou comest into thy kingdom. And Jesus said unto him, Verily I say unto thee, To day shalt thou BE WITH ME IN PARADISE." (Luke 23:39-43)
Now, I can imagine those families at the foot of this man's cross crying out: "NO! It can't be! He must go to HELL for the hell that he put our family through these past couple of months!" What is Jesus actually "saying" to those families by His words? "This man turned his face and his hopes to Me, and because of that he is going with Me, for all eternity. And you there, at the foot of his cross, you must learn to forgive the way that I taught you to forgive."
How did Jesus teach us to forgive? Unconditionally! He was torn apart, mutilated and scourged so badly that He wasn't even recognizable as a human being.
"As many were astonished at thee--his visage was so marred more than any man, and his form more than the children of men." (Isaiah 52:14)
"Many were horrified at what happened to him. But everyone who saw him was even more horrified because he suffered until he no longer looked human." (Isaiah 52:14) (Contemporary English Version Bible)
Can we even think how badly one must be marred or mutilated not to be recognizable as a human being? Is it possible to even IMAGINE something as horrible as that? And yet, even after ALL that, how does Jesus react? Please read with me:
"And when they were come to the place, which is called Calvary, there they crucified him, and the malefactors, one on the right hand, and the other on the left. Then said Jesus, Father, FORGIVE THEM; for they know not what they do. And they parted his raiment, and cast lots." (Luke 23:33, 34)
Wow! Even after all that Jesus still forgives! He practices exactly what He preached to His disciples:
"Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times? Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven." (Matthew 18:21, 22)
I see in these verses that Jesus teaches that we must forgive him or her that transgresses against us, seventy times seven. That amounts to four hundred and ninety times! I personally further believe that He meant per person, per day. What is He actually saying then? That we must forgive, and forgive, and just keep on forgiving, over and over and over. No person has ever hurt another person four hundred and ninety times in a single day. Even over a period of a lifetime it is difficult to find a single person who has hurt another person four hundred and ninety separate times. And even then Jesus keeps on repeating: forgive, forgive, forgive...
It is clear that the key to everything, is FORGIVENESS. As long as I refuse to forgive any other person for something he or she has done against me, I am the one locked in that jail of unforgiveness, or bitterness. That other person holds the key, and that key is called "forgiveness". Most times that person doesn't even know that he has hurt me, or many times he has already long forgotten what he did to me. So, he keeps on living his life, without a care in the world, while I'm the one left sulking and breaking my heart over that incident, replaying it in my mind over and over and over again. He lives his life carefree, while I'm the bound one.
Now how do I get to be free? I simply take the "key" out of his hands by forgiving him before God, and I am FREE! It doesn't matter what the reason was, albeit divorce, molestation, slander, theft, physical abuse or whatever. The only way to be set free, is to CHOOSE to take the key of "forgiveness" out of the hand of the person that has hurt me and to unlock myself from that jail cell. As long as I refuse to do that I must realize that that other person is NOT the one bound to that incident of hurt, but that I am! (Have YOU done that yet, dear friend? Or are you still bound to the past by refusing to forgive?)
(From the book: "Forgive! Why should I?" - tiaan gildenhuys)
tiaan 
cobus
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