Relationships

/Relationships
Relationships 2018-02-26T11:37:51+00:00

My dear friend,

May the Peace of Jesus Christ  be with you.

May I start by asking you a direct question? “Do you really experience the peace with which I greeted you in your heart, in your home and at your working place?”

The greeting of peace, like in Luke 10:5 means: “Freedom from all distresses that result from sin.”

One of the areas in our lives where we all experience misery and grief, and where we sometimes even pamper them in our thoughts, is in our relationship area. It can be in my relationship with my wife/husband, my children,  my parents and parents in law and worse still, in my relationship with God and also with myself.

I often hide my relationship with God under a veil and then I try to bluff myself like an ostrich hiding its head in the sand or behind a small shrub thinking that someone cannot see him.

Remember, Adam and Eve were the first who tried this. They could not succeed and you will also not succeed in doing this.

Let us discuss our relationship with ourselves. I know for certain that all our relationship   problems stems from this. This is also the area that you and I think that only we know about it.

How do you feel about yourself? Do you perhaps feel and think that you only exist and are not good for anything? Are you inferior towards others? Do you think that you are a failure and that God also thinks that you are good for nothing? Do you feel inadequate to care for your family? Do you also blame yourself for your marriage that went wrong and are the feelings of guilt still harassing you? Do you feel that you have nothing to live for and that there is no purpose left in your life? Do you sometimes wish that you were dead?

Do you realize friend, that how you feel about yourself, and what your relationship with yourself is, will determine how your relationships with God, your spouse, your children, parents and the people around you, will be.

You have to sell yourself to yourself like a salesman sells his product. Think about buying a second hand car. You look at all the faults and marks on it but, the moment that you decide to buy it, you do not even see the faults and marks any more. Nobody should criticize your car! Is this not true?

I ask you: When are you going to decide to buy yourself?”

The moment that you take that decision, you will be able to look at yourself in the mirror and say: “You, beautiful, wonderful person, what a privilege it is to be me? It will be an honour to live as myself from now on. I am unique and Father wove me together as a work of art. There is nobody else like me.”

Do you say that it is vanity? Let us have a look at what God thinks of you:

Gen 1:26  “And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness:”

This means that you are a perfect copy of God.

Let us look at a few aspects of resemblance between you and God.

God is a triune Being and you are also a being: spirit, soul and body.

1Thes 5: 23  “And the very God of peace sanctify you wholly; and I pray God your whole spirit and soul and body be preserved blameless unto the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.”

God creates and you can create. By your appearance and actions you can create and handle situations. You can make things and cause situations by your brains and talents. Just look at buildings, motor cars, businesses, etc.

God reigns and He gives the opportunity to you also to reign.

Revelations 1:6 “…And hath made us kings and priests unto God and his Father …”

The Bible contains many such similarities. Take the trouble and go on a discovery search about yourself.

God trusted man totally. He gave him all His power and authority in:

Gen1:28 “And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.”

Satan came and stole it from them but, praise the Lord: Jesus came and took it back with His death and resurrection from death.

Let us go back to the fall of man and I speak to you who are under the impression, or have been told that Eve was the cause of their falling in sin.

Please read Genesis 3 where the fall is described and look at verse 17. God had already spoken to the snake and to Eve and then He said to Adam:And unto Adam he said, Because thou hast hearkened unto the voice of thy wife, and hast eaten of the tree, of which I commanded thee, saying, Thou shalt not eat of it: cursed is the ground for thy sake.”

As I read here, the consequences only came when Adam ate the forbidden fruit.

Why is that so? Colossians.3: 18 says: Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.”

Let us look at the words: ‘Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands’.

God appointed the man as the head of the house. Adam did not take up his Godly authority when Eve gave him the fruit from the forbidden tree. Had he stood in this authority and refused to eat, we would still have been in Paradise.

I also do not read that God cursed man. God said: “cursed is the ground for thy sake.”  Please do not go through life as if there is a curse of God on you.

Let’s take a look at ‘submissiveness’ of the wife towards her husband. In Gen 1: 27 God made man. Husband and wife He made them. Verse 28 says: “And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.”

This command was given to both of them and both stood at the same level before God. No difference was made between man and woman.

Where does the submissiveness now come in? Look again at Gen 3. God held Adam responsible for Eve’s actions and demanded responsibility from him. Therefore the final responsibility, in marriage, lies with the husband.

The husband oversteps his authority when he treats his wife as inferior for GOD created them as equals. Colossians 3:19 states: “Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.”  Please note that there are no conditions given for the love and also no exceptions given to allow them to become embittered.

To the wife it is said in verse 18: “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.”  Support him in the decisions and stand by him. If you differ from him, differ in such a way that your love for each other will be deepened.

To both the husband and wife, I want to say: “God regards the marriage very highly and HE respects unity”. The Bible says in Gen 2:24  “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.”

That also means that the wife shall leave her parents, cleave to her husband and become one flesh with him. In marriage both of you as partners stand as one before GOD and GOD will bless your unity.

Further, Colossians says that children should obey their parents. When we as parents are in unity, we will rule out of our authority towards our children. They will know their position within the family and will obey the command. This acceptance lies in the actions of the parents towards them and also towards each other.

GOD also states in the ten commandments: Exodus 20:12  “Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.”

How do we treat our own parents and parents in law? Remember that GOD looks upon husband and wife as one flesh. My parents in law are also my own parents. How many of our own parents do not even know where we, their children, are? How many of them have been dropped off in old age homes and then forgotten for the sake of convenience. You may well say that I do not know your parent or parents. They treat us this way or that way, etc.

GOD, asks you only one question: Do you honour your parents the way I expect you to?

Our relationship towards others can be switched over to what GOD initially planned for us. HIS plans and expectations for us is still the same and will never change. HE proved it by letting his son, JESUS, pay the full price for us to be returned to HIS original plan.

We have to personally accept the price that JESUS has already paid for us and we have to begin to repair the damage that we have caused to others and also to ourselves. HOLY SPIRIT was sent with the task to help us to do just that.

Do not be afraid to go to your husband/wife to ask forgiveness. Also don’t be afraid to repair the relationships with your children and parents.

There is, however, one factor that can prevent us repairing relationships, and that is bitterness. If we have bitterness in our thoughts, it will seriously harm the work of HOLY SPIRIT. Bitterness goes hand in hand with an unforgiving attitude. Please scrutinize yourself thoroughly for bitterness and if you find anything, bring it to GOD. Do you realize that JESUS also had bitterness when He was crucified, but when He was raised from the dead, He arose without it?

Bitterness also goes hand in hand with pride and conceitedness and prevents humbleness. Being humble is not what we sometimes reckon as a ‘forgive me for living’ attitude. Look again at JESUS. He was king and also humble. He did not want to be first but was happy to be the least of all. Let us also be like JESUS was when He washed the feet of His disciples.

Friend, bitterness, unforgiveness, pride and conceitedness are the things that Satan uses to tie people in bondage. Because JESUS died and rose from death, we do not have to be in bondage any longer. He came as our redeemer and wants to release us from all these hardships. The choice, however is yours. Do you want to rid yourself from them, or do you want to keep on cuddling them as you still do? Do you realize that GOD is such a gentleman that He will never force you to do anything. He will not even force you to bring your hurt, pain, illness, bitterness or whatever is wrong, to Him.

In your heart you must want to do it, and if you do it, He will loosen them from you and you will be free. HE says in John 8:36 “If the Son therefore shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed.”

I would now like to pray for you and to ask FATHER to give you a real deliverance and make you absolute free. It is available for each one of us because GOD does not put anyone before the others.  

If you would like to discuss this further, I will really appreciate it if you will contact me.

Redemption, deliverance and a life of and also in abundance is available for you. It is available now and here on earth!!! The choice, however, is yours.

“Father, I ask in the name of JESUS that YOU will touch all reading this letter, and that HOLY SPIRIT will help them to repair what is wrong. Firstly, to let them think about their relationship with YOU. Please let them realize how dearly YOU love us and what price YOU were willing to pay to bring us back from the darkness. O, LORD, let everyone realize that YOU did not create worthless washouts, but that YOU, after YOU have created man as a companion for you, blessed them and stared with amazement at the person that YOU have created.

Let us realize that, even before YOU have made man, that YOU already knew what each one of us will do that is wrong and also that JESUS had to die, but that YOU were willing to pay the price. Thank you Lord JESUS, for this can be the guideline for us as to how much we have to love ourselves and our fellowmen.

Where we have to pardon, or to forgive anybody, my prayer is that YOU will soften the hearts of those people beforehand and make them receptive for what we have to say.

FATHER, I ask YOU to cleanse us from the memories of the grief and hurt that we have borne or that we have caused. Please cover the bruises and lesions with the blood of JESUS so that we can stand clean and pure before YOU. Please now forgive our deeds where we have sinned and we also now forgive them who have trespassed against us.

Lord JESUS, please help us, who cannot give or accept love because our own fathers also did not know how to give or to accept love. This wound is so very, very deep so, please help us and heal this wound. Loosen the ties of memory and suffering. Please come to us, take us on YOUR lap and fold YOUR arms around us.

O, FATHER, let us realize that YOU are our real FATHER and that YOU will never hurt us, and that YOU are saying: “Welcome back, my child. I will never forsake you and I will never leave you.”

Help me to forgive my father and my mother. They were raised rigorously and did not know how to raise us tenderly and then they referred to how they themselves, were raised. Help me to fully forgive them, put my arms around them and to say: “Dad/mom, I love you. I forgive you and set you free. Please also forgive me.”

Thank you JESUS, for the power of prayer and that You gave it to us to use.    

FATHER, I ask all this in the name of JESUS. Amen”

My dear friend, go along in the peace of the LORD.

Love in JESUS’s name.

Cobus van Heerden

cvh@oicb.co.za